Love, Loss and The Door Closing

The enormity of the quietness of the door closing on this life as we know it, while he lay in the bed as we said, our final goodbyes in a room filled with sadness. The loss of ever speaking to him again, the loss of the new memories that will be made. The loss of hearing his voice again, the loss of holding him and telling him I love him. The loss of never sharing the same moments together. The loss of hearing his voice and his. laugh. The loss of laughing at old memories and sharing stories. The loss of picking up the phone to call or text when you want to share something.

The heavy feeling in your chest when a wave of a memory comes over you like a title wave. The song, the movie, the smell that reminds you of them. A verse or line that they may have said.

The emptiness in your soul that you can’t quite seem to fill. You’re always one feeling away from a tear streaming down your face. Your one feeling away from being jolted back into realization that they are no longer with you in the physical world.

Not knowing when the next wave of grief will strike you again. Grief is not planned it does not have an expiry date or an end. It does not always come in the same form. Sometimes it’s sad other times it’s memories flowing. They say time heals, but I do not believe that. I believe we learn to live without them. We learn to carry the weight a…